grief sits and waits patiently
it's buckets of tears
at the ready
After three months
it is slowly starting to get through my walls
i am starting to realize what people are talking about...
my friends who speak about losing a parent.
it was a club i could not identify with no matter how i tried.
One said she felt like an orphan...
how can a person in their seventies feel like an orphan
when their parents have been gone for decades?
one gentleman would sit with mom and I and
proclaim repeatedly, crying,
that he missed his mom who had been gone
for twenty years and how lucky i was to still have mine.
I truly could not understand this.
I had lost a favorite aunt, but never cried for ever about it....
.
yesterday it started to make sense....
it is more of a deep feeling - like when one talks of the feeling
of " home "
except this is one of a never to be filled again void.
I will never again hear my father call me Punkin
2 comments:
Oh dear I do hear you.. but YES you will when you are reunited with him when your time comes.. YOU WILL... I KNOW IT>. Creeping up is a good definition for it. I lost my brother at a young age very quick and tragic and for YEARS it would creep up on me.. IN a store, with other people.. I would just get a sadness and sometimes have to be by myself to grieve or just BREATHE..They are always with us and can hear us speak to them. I talk to my mother and brother mostly ALL the time. I don't feel crazy doing it either. If you listen carefully you will know what they think about things..because you KNOW them and how they were. HUGS to you I know this is a hard time. <3
It is a terrible time. For you now and certainly we both walked with Caroled when those times came. I as you will never forget it nor will I ever forget your Dad's passing. It is a feeling I always say is being bereft...he was all I had. We, brothers and I loved him thoroughly and we will always always miss his presence. Here is a hug. I know how it is.
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