I visited my sister yesterday. As the day went on I became amazed at how she keeps the past alive. She remembers all of the abuse & events as though they were yesterday. And clings to the psychological reactions & thought patterns as though she has never received any psychological help. I found that all my siblings think that since I was the youngest that I somehow had it easier. Hello? I had to live alone with those two screwballs while they went to school for the day, and later when they left home at 18.Listening to her speak about her life and her questions to me about specific events that I had long forgotten about & moved on was, well, shocking to me. I guess I have had some good help through doctors and through reading and applying stuff I have read in self-help books. My sisters both seem to be proud of bringing up their children with eating & psyc. problems like themselves.
I spent the drive home telling myself that the thoughts that were entering my head about the past were 'Not helpful' and that I had taken care of those old highways of thought, the deep ruts had since grown over with weeds and it was not necessary to clear them again.
I am striving to "live in the Now"
I went to sleep thinking about how I am a spirit living in this human form for just a little while.... I am as huge as the universe, and have chosen to experience this unique journey here. I am not my past. I am not defined by my past. I am not my future either-
I am now, and
I AM.
The chinese characters for Buddah
stood for "Man" and "No"
One is 'form' and the other is the denial of form.
The recognition is that 'form' is not WHO you are.
.
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Can anyone tell me why I cannot comment on my blog or anyone elses?
5 comments:
My brother and I reacted to some gruesome childhood events very differently. For him the past is the present and the sense that his childhood was unfair and that he can never get over it is palpable. For me, I feel it is not what has happened to you that matters but how you react to it. The past is dead and all that I can do now is try and make a better future.
I think your path is healthier than your siblings. Good wishes to you.
thanks Loach....
I agree.
I found I ccan comment in a new tab.
I had a rather interesting childhood as well, and in my family's case, we've all moved on. It's too easy to fall in the trap and play the victim all your life, and then blame your current problems on your past.
Your present was caused by you, but some people have trouble dealing with that.
Dear friend, Indeed we are all "am now" and of the All. There one experiences the terrible beauty of life and through positive action enriches the lives of others. You have done so and continue to do so.
I could not comment either, then the "beta dork" thought...hmmm. IE8 and here I am. As ever be well, Stephen Craig Rowe
Funny that - in my case, the eldest (me) had moved on a long time ago. My brothers, both younger, are only just now starting to put the past where it belongs - in the past. It seems to me to be foolish to carry resentments, and anger with you. That brings one down ..... is very depressive - like an ships anchor tied to ones neck. Yesterday is the past - there is nothing anyone can do to change it or make it different. Tomorrow is a mystery - no one knows whether it will get here or not.
Today is a gift - that is why it is called the present....
Dragon
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